A Letter in Search of an Objective

I recently received a one-page letter from a list company.  Not unusual, except that this letter didn't come with any other information in the envelope, so the letter had to stand alone.  The idea of a short, personal letter from the CEO may have been a good one -- except that after reading it, I was confused as to why it was even sent.    The four paragraphs, filled with wonderful "corporate marketing-isms," seem to circle around and around, looking for a purpose . . .

Sending a simple personal letter from your CEO, as part of your lead nurturing strategy, can be a smart strategy.  But that letter needs to actually SAY something useful enough to get read, and leave me with a positive impression of the company.  My strategy usually is to "tell the prospect something he or she didnt know" -- maybe highlight a unique benefit the company offers, or talk about results of some recent research or tests that have implications for the prospect.

So I had high hopes for a letter recently received from a list company.  It was short, and the paragraphs weren't too long -- instantly communicating to me this was going to be an easy read.  But I was left wondering what the company's objective was in sending me the letter -- and what the copywriter was trying to accomplish.

There was no headline on the letter.  The lead sentence: 

"As CEO of (company), I want to thank you for the opportunity to have our experienced team help you to grow your business."   

hmmm.   I hadn't done business with the company in years.  Had I recently downloaded a white paper from them or something?   The words "the opportunity" sounded to me like it was referencing some recent transaction they had with me.

The last sentence of the first paragraph:  "We would value our partnership and look forward to working with you in the future."   Another hmmm.   "We WOULD value . . ."?   Why not "We value"?   The use of the word "would" sounds strange (try reading the sentence out loud -- you'd never say that in person, or over the phone), and seems to imply some possible future relationship.

Okay, so they confused me with the first paragraph.  The second paragraph starts off with some promise:  "We've made some exciting enhancements like creating a rewards program that gives you extra perks for being one of our valued customers."   But no SPECIFICS -- exactly how does this rewards program work???   Generalities like this aren't memorable. 

"We hope you'll take advantage of the new pricing we're offering with no hidden costs."   WHAT IS THE NEW PRICING???   Is it lower, is it higher -- what's the benefit to the customer???  Again, no specifics -- just generalities I'll never remember.  (Also, are they implying their old pricing HAD hidden costs?   The copy should have clarified this, by indicating:

"As always, you can be sure there are no hidden costs when you order from (company)."

The letter also mentions an online resource center -- if anyone ever reads that far, which is unlikely.

The third paragraph seems to imply the company may have had some recent problems, and the final paragraph closes by mentioning 2 executives by name that I have never worked with and likely never will. 

So what was the purpose of this letter?  Perhaps this was a PR exercise, to ensure past customers the company had made some internal improvements. If so, the writer should have had this single objective clearly in mind, and should have delivered a much clearer message to customers.

Even with a "PR-type" letter, it can play a very useful role in your customer retention and lead nurturing efforts -- if carefully structured to focus on one clear objective.  Tell me:  "We can help your business be more profitable in 3 new ways", then POINT THEM OUT with subheads, bolds, or bullet points. Don't bury the 3 critical communication points that could actually make this letter worth while!

Always sad to see a company in the direct mail industry be so bad at effective direct mail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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